Before you send an email or friend request to boy or girlfriends past, consider these 5 tips to guard your heart and your current relationship.

It’s the time of year that people often think about love and relationships. You may even be considering contacting an old sweetheart— perhaps seeking closure or feeling nostalgic or curious about what your ex is doing now. Deciding whether or not to contact an ex can be challenging and there can be pros and cons. The standard advice is, “Just don’t do it,” but depending on the situation it could potentially bring relief and closure. If you or someone you know is contemplating contacting an ex, consider these tips first.

1. Ask yourself the tough questions such as: Why am I doing this? What am I hoping to achieve? How will I feel after communicating with this person? Will I be able to accept the outcome even if it doesn’t go the way I hope it will?
2. Consider your current mental, emotional and physical state. If you are currently feeling angry, tired, lonely or discouraged about your current life situations delay making contact.
3. If you are currently in a relationship, be sure to discuss the situation with your current partner and establish clear boundaries about contact with the opposite sex (and especially exes) that you are both comfortable with. If you do choose to contact your ex, be open and transparent with your partner about any communication that you have with the ex, including text messages or social media messages.
4. Even with clear boundaries set, it is important to keep in mind that familiarity can potentially lead to high levels of emotion and it can be hard to not misinterpret the feelings to mean that what you used to have is better than what you have now. Additionally, individuals are also often more open about sharing intimate feelings over social media or text messages which can lead to feeling intense emotions. With that in mind, guard your heart, be careful about what you share, and remember there is a reason he or she is an ex.
5. If you do decide to contact your ex, be up front about why you are contacting them, be brief, and don’t try to continue to contact them if they don’t respond. Remember, they may not have the same desire to reconnect or may be respecting the boundaries of their current relationship.
   

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   This article was written by Naomi Brower, USU Extension associate professor, Weber County

Find out how helping others can help your family!

Service with a Smile

Volunteering as a family can be fun, but it can also be challenging.

Telling the kids that you are going to go work somewhere as a family may not be received with a “Yippee!” However, knowing the benefits may make the scheduling and needed “family pep talk” worth it.

Families that took a volunteering survey reported the benefits of volunteering as a family.

Benefits reported by parents:
• It bonded them to their children and created a team atmosphere.
• The children got along better and recognized that they need each other.
• The children focused on someone other than themselves.

Benefits reported by children:
• They gained appreciation and respect for their parents for how much they care for the community.
• Siblings were seen as role models.
• It made them feel good.

Other benefits of volunteering as a family include:
• The experience of sharing experiences and values.
• Having fun as a family.
• Individuals and families can learn about new resources (education, social support, family services and financial assistance).
• Children gain real-world experiences and learn about careers
• Parent-child bonding can promote healthy development

In addition to the benefits of volunteering together, a study reported that there are also benefits to the individual family members.

Infants
Depending on what the family is volunteering for, opportunities where the baby can tag along can benefit their psychosocial needs. Parents are able to give consistent care and continue building trust.

Toddlers
Who said these little ones couldn’t volunteer? Toddlers can develop sensorimotor skills and language through the different experiences and environments of volunteering.

4-7 Year-olds
Volunteering provides opportunities to look at different choices and develop decision- making skills. Children can help decide where the family will volunteer and/or how to do the project. They can begin learning about responsibility and cause and effect.

8-12 Year-olds
Volunteering as a family provides school-aged children a safe environment for making mistakes, practicing skills and eventually succeeding at different tasks and settings. Children experience encouragement from parents and older siblings. Having flexibility in volunteer activities can be motivating.

Adolescents
It is not a secret that adolescents are working on figuring out their identity, values, beliefs and how to accomplish tasks. Volunteering as a family provides teens with parental examples of values and civic responsibility. They are also exposed to different experiences, learn new skills and gain new perspectives.

Young Adults
Family volunteering for young adults helps to maintain and strengthen family networks. Relationships may even be mended through the experience. Volunteering together helps meet the need to have healthy relationships in their lives through opportunities as simple as talking, learning something new and bonding.

Adults
Volunteering with children provides adults with the opportunity to share their culture, beliefs and values. Volunteering for adults promotes a sense of caring, compassion and empathy. They feed their need to give back by sharing experiences, knowledge and other resources.

Elderly Adults
Volunteering brings meaning and purpose to the life of elderly adults. Volunteering with family helps their mental well-being.

References:
1Littlepage, L., Obergfell, E., & Zanin, G. (2003). Family Volunteering: An exploratory study of the impact on families. Center for Urban Policy and the Environment. Retrieved from: http://policyinstitute.iu.edu/Uploads/ProjectFiles/31_03-C05_Family_Volunteering.pdf

2Lewton, A. R., Nievar, M. A. (2012). Strengthening Families Through Volunteerism: Integrating family volunteerism and family life education. Marriage & Family Review, 48, 7, 689-710. DOI: 10.1080/01494929.2012.700909

This article was written by Zuri Garcia, Extension Assistant Professor, Davis County Extension

Winter can be a difficult time for many people. The days are dark and cold, and it is easy to let that affect your mood. Try some of these positivity power-ups to lift your spirits as you push through to spring.

Positivity can provide a powerful boost to physical and mental health, productivity, relationships with others, and can even lead to an increase in lifespan. On the other hand, negativity can be harmful to physical and mental health, damage careers, and destroy relationships.

Consider focusing on these steps to increase the positivity in your life:

• Keep it positive. Keep conversations positive and steer clear of comments that are negative or degrading toward others or yourself. If you catch yourself saying something negative, make an effort to change it to a more positive comment instead.

• Tip the scales to the positive. Research has found that happy relationships have about five positive interactions to every one negative. While it’s ok to express concerns or frustrations, be sure to also express sincere words of appreciation or other positive words to keep the relationship in the positive.

• Focus on what is right. While is isn’t possible to change how others act or have control over some situations, drawing attention to the things that are going right can help to set a more positive tone for interactions and increase positive emotions.

• Make it personal. Genuinely caring for others sets positivity in motion that is often reciprocated. Examples of this might include listening to others with unconditional positive regard and providing support and encouragement.

• Share the positivity. Making an effort to have positive thoughts and interactions sets off a chain of positivity that often amplifies positive emotions and can have a powerful positive impact on others. Examples of this might include doing something nice for someone, giving a compliment, or just writing down all the things that went well today.

Being positive can have a powerful impact on the world. Sharing an uplifting word or giving a small act of kindness can create a ripple effect of positivity. What will you do today to increase the positivity in your life?

This article was written by Naomi Brower, USU Extension associate professor, Weber County

Reference:
How Full is Your Bucket: Positive Strategies for Work and Life by Tom Rath & Donald Clifton.

You don’t have to wait for February 14 to roll around to think about how to strengthen your relationship. Check out these six tips for rekindling the spark in your relationship. 

1. Find and make time to spend one-on-one with your partner.

Put distractions (i.e. cell phones) aside and enjoy the time and conversation with each other. Go on favorite dates and mix in new activities to explore new interests.

2. Share acts of love and kindness.

Valentine’s Day is coming up, but find ways all year long to share acts of love and kindness. Leave notes under pillows or in lunch boxes. Drop by each other’s work with a treat. Come home with a fun surprise or take your partner on a quick surprise outing for a drink or ice cream.

3. Think before you speak.

When it comes to arguments and differences of opinions, take a step back and reflect on how important the point of argument is. Is it really worth putting your foot down? Is there room for compromise?

4. Be a good listener.

When discussing matters, be a good listener. Don’t interrupt— wait for your turn to speak. When speaking, repeat what you heard to summarize what you understand that you heard. Then use “I” statements by saying “I feel [what feeling?] when [this happens] because [why you feel that way]. Even better when you can follow up with a request. For example, “I feel frustrated when you leave for the gym before you help clean the kitchen, because I am left to do all the work on my own and it takes the rest of my evening. Next time can you please help me quickly right after we are done eating?”

5. Make each other smile.

Capitalize on inside jokes to make special moments of connection. Replay the inside jokes occasionally during conversations, or in texts or emails. This should be sure to make you both smile.

6. Keep traditions alive— or create new ones.

Remember anniversaries and special dates with a date, a gift, or a note. Consider re-creating favorite activities yearly, such as an evening out to a Jazz game or a concert.

Find Out More

Looking for more ways to strengthen your relationship? Plan a date night and attend the Marriage Celebration on February 3 at Weber State University, or the Date Your Mate Celebration on February 10 at the Viridian Event Center in West Jordan.

This article was written by Melanie Jewkes, Utah State University Extension associate professor, Salt Lake County

Have you used a food, grocery or coupon app? We’ve got the lowdown on of some of the top apps in these categories to help you decide whether or not they are worth a download.

Grocery and Coupons

Favado – This app is pretty awesome. You start off by entering your zip code or allowing location access so that the app can search for stores near you. From there, you pick stores of your choice. You can either view the ads for those stores, or better yet, compare the prices for the stores you picked. For instance: I chose Smith’s, Winco, and Costco. I could compare their ads in their entirety, or search for a specific item like broccoli. Smith’s broccoli was $0.79 per pound, while WinCo broccoli was $0.98. By doing this with all my grocery list items I could see where to get the most bang for my buck. You can also add the items you searched for or saw in coupons to a list by store.

Walmart– This app has a great feature: Savings Catcher. You can scan your Walmart receipt and the app will search prices of competitors in the area for advertised deals on the items you purchased. If a lower advertised price is found, Walmart give you the difference on an eGift card. This app also lists the weekly ad and current prices in store. You can order non-grocery items from this app and pick them up at the store, and refill prescriptions from this app. To order groceries, use the Walmart Grocery app, where you are able to select non-perishable foods to be delivered to your front door or complete all of your shopping and have it hand delivered to your car in the parking lot.

*Note: other stores also have their own apps to help with grocery shopping lists, couponing, etc. Smith’s grocery store app allows you to add coupons directly to your Fresh Values card, which eliminates the hassle of cutting and turning in paper coupons. Target’s Cartwheel app allows you to scan items in the store to see if there is a coupon or sale in addition to weekly ad prices. Check to see if the stores at which you typically shop have apps, and then see what they have to offer.

Grocery IQ or Grocery Pal – The best feature on these apps is that you can scan a barcode or use a voice search to find coupons. When you scan a barcode or search for an item, coupons from stores around you will pop up, then you can add the coupons and items you want to your list. This could be handy if you are in a store and want to quickly check prices elsewhere.  You can also view the weekly ads for stores in your area.

Nutrition Tracking

MyNetDiary –  This easy-to-use app is a classic nutrition tracker. You enter your personal information and select if you want to gain, lose or maintain weight. The app then tells you how many calories you should eat each day to achieve your goal. It tracks the amount of the fat, carbs and protein in the foods you enter, and calculates your allowed amount remaining in each category for the day. Perhaps the best part is that you can enter in your own recipes. With many other nutrition trackers, there are preset meals to choose from. With this app, you can select the ingredients that actually made up your lunch for the day, and it will calculate the nutritional information. You can also log exercise, water intake and add personal notes in the app. Using an activity monitor like a Fitbit, you can also track your steps and how many calories burned in the app.

Nutrition Education

Eat and Move -0- Matic – This is a great nutrition education app for families and children, produced by the National 4-H Council. Its designed to be like a game and is geared toward children. Your children may not find it the most exciting game to play on their own, but it is a good educational app for you to go through with your children. The app teaches how food and exercise work together. For example, it would take 27 minutes of jumping rope to burn the calories contained in an 8 ounce glass of chocolate milk.  It has dozens of food and exercise selections to choose from and lists the calories for each food. This is great for helping parents understand how much physical activity their children should be doing for the food they are eating, and it can teach children that they need to exercise to stay healthy and balance what they eat with physical activity.

Recipes and Cooking

Cooking Matters – This app’s focus is healthy, affordable and delicious meals. While it doesn’t have as many recipes as Pinterest, the recipes this app does have are healthy, simple and look very appealing. Many of the recipes use few ingredients. It also lists the serving size of each recipe and has a nice conversion feature to tell you how many ounces are in a pound or how many teaspoons are in a tablespoon, etc.

Do you use any of these apps? Are there any you love that we’ve missed? Let us know in the comments!

This article was written by Sarah Hepworth Warner, Food Sense nutrition program intern, Utah County, and Melanie Jewkes, Utah State University Extension associate professor, Salt Lake County

Are extended warranties worth the extra cost? Watch this video from Family Finance Pro Amanda Christensen to find out.

Here are some tips to keep in mind:

• As yourself: Does the item come with a manufacturer’s warranty? How long does it last and what does it cover?
• Read the fine print.
• Keep the receipt or proof of purchase.
• Do the follow up, or the warranty is for naught.

Be sure to watch the video for the details on each tip.

Amanda Christensen is an Extension Assistant Professor for Utah State University. Follow her on Twitter: @FamFinPro, Facebook: Fam Fin Pro, Instagram: @FamFinPro.

What’s the deal with  layaway programs? Learn how to assess if layaway is a good option for you and how to set up your own layaway savings plan from USU Extension finance pro Amanda Christensen.

Layaway Highlights:

1. Read the fine print
2. Look at the cancelation policy
3. Will the payments fit into your budget?
4. Is there a sale price credit?
5. Will you be tempted to overspend?

Set Up Your Own Layaway Savings Plan:

1. Set a goal and stick to it
2. Make a plan
3.  Set up an automatic transfer
4. Watch sale prices
5. Stick to your list

Be sure to watch the video for the details on each tip.

Amanda Christensen is an Extension Assistant Professor for Utah State University. Follow her on Twitter: @FamFinPro, Facebook: Fam Fin Pro, Instagram: @FamFinPro.

Year to year your kids may forget what gifts they have given and received, but they will always remember the traditions you do together as a family.Try adding one of these activities to your annual holiday traditions.

Family traditions are beliefs and customs that are passed down to our children to be carried on by future generations. Traditions foster closeness between family members, provide family stability and create feelings of belonging. Our values and beliefs are often reinforced through family traditions. Family traditions do not have to be elaborate or expensive. The significance of a tradition is for families to have time to relate and communicate with one another. Spending quality time together helps affirm values, faith and life experiences while celebrating the season.

1. Watch Christmas shows together with hot chocolate and popcorn.
2. Make your own Christmas cards to send to family and friends.
3. Donate clothes or toys to a local shelter.
4. Make decorating the Christmas tree a family event.
5. Bake and decorate cookies to take to a neighbor.
6. Go caroling.
7. Take a special drive at night to enjoy Christmas lights.
8. Collect pine cones and use them to make ornaments.
9. Read one Christmas story each night before bed, or have your children write and act out a Christmas play.
10. Go sledding, and then enjoy hot cider or hot chocolate at home.
11. Have a campout night using sleeping bags under your lighted Christmas tree.
12. Make paper snowflakes to decorate your windows.
13. Light up your walkway or driveway with handmade luminaries.
14. Learn how different cultures celebrate Christmas.
15. Create a calendar so your children can count down the days until Christmas.
16. Have a Christmas past, present and future evening. Look through old photo albums/scrapbooks to celebrate Christmas past. Discuss what makes Christmas special for each family member to celebrate Christmas present and talk about hopes and dreams for the coming years to celebrate Christmas future.
17. Make gingerbread people out of brown grocery sacks. These make great gift tags for presents. Glue on googly eyes and candy canes to add dimension to your gingerbread people.  
18. Make snow globes with old food jars.
19. Have your children help you prepare a special family recipe that has been passed down through generations.
20. Have a gift wrapping party.

Family traditions will create lasting memories, so whatever your traditions may be, remember to have fun and enjoy the time you are spending with family.  

This article was written by Shannon Cromwell, M.A., Extension Assistant Professor, Family & Consumer Sciences, Utah State University Extension, Sanpete County, 435-283-3472, shannon.cromwell@usu.edu

It’s time to start preparing for the winter months. Preparation now will help prevent damage to your home later and will save energy and money. You can spread these home projects out over several weeks to make it easier.

1. Check seals around doors and windows: You may be surprised by the little cracks and spaces that heat can escape through during the winter.  Look around window frames for any cracks on the outside and apply caulk.  Check on air leakage around electrical outlets and switch plates. You can install insulation or outlet gaskets very easily.
2. Inspect furnace and filters: Have the furnace checked for efficiency and clean or replace filters. If a furnace has a dirty filter, it will not function as efficiently.  Air vents also fall into this category; be sure to vacuum them and check for possible leaks that decrease efficiency in the home.
3. Reverse ceiling fan blades. Most ceiling fans have a switch to reverse the direction of the blades. The clockwise rotation forces warm air down where people can enjoy it rather than allowing it to escape to the ceiling area.
4. Clean chimneys: Since ash and creosote can build up in a chimney, it is important to have a professional clean it at least every other year, or more if you use it frequently. You can use a flashlight to check for bird nests or other items that may be blocking any part of the chimney.
5. Drain outdoor hoses and faucets: Water expands when it freezes and can ruin faucets and hoses if they aren’t properly taken care of. After draining pipes, store hoses indoors. Cover outdoor faucets with insulated frost-free hose bib covers.
6. Wrap indoor pipes: Pipes may be exposed to the cold in the basement, inside cabinets or in the attic.  To avoid them bursting from freezing, wrap them in heat tape or tubular pipe insulation sleeves.
7. Winterize evaporative cooler: Turn off the power and water to the cooler. Turn off water pump and fan, remove them and store indoors. Drain water out of lines and out of the swamp cooler pan. Disconnect the water supply line to the cooler and drain or blow it out to keep any residual water from being trapped in lines and freezing. Place cover or tarp over the cooler and tie it down securely. To prevent warm air from escaping through the ceiling inside the home, close the air diffuser vents and place a diffuser cover over the vent or place an evaporative cooler pillow plug inside the diffuser.
8. Make necessary repairs on roof: Take a look at your roof and look for any possible places for leaking, missing shingles or weak corners, especially on older homes.
9. Clean out rain gutters and make repairs: This is especially important for preventing unnecessary damage.  After all the leaves have fallen, you can clean out your gutter and check for possible broken parts.  This helps prevent gutter damming, which happens when draining water gets backed up and leaks into the home.
10. Mow leaves into the lawn: This will act as mulch and help nourish your lawn during the winter. There is a helpful tutorial at USU Extension’s Live Well Utah blog here.
11. Prepare the lawn mower for rest: Use all the gas in the lawn mower or add stabilizer to keep it from decomposing over the winter and causing problems when it’s time to use it again.
12. Pull out the snow removal equipment: Gather snow blower, fuel, snow shovels and chemical ice melt, and place in a readily accessible location.
13. Check or replace emergency supplies: Inspect fire extinguishers, batteries, candles, flashlights and propane lanterns or heaters.
14. Check smoke and carbon monoxide detectors: Make sure they are working properly.  Carbon monoxide is a dangerous, odorless gas produced by gas furnaces and ranges.
15. Replace light bulbs in exterior light fixtures: This will provide safety in lighting up walkways and steps during the dark winter nights.

This article was written by Kirsten Lamplugh, USU Extension Intern, Salt Lake County and Marilyn Albertson, Utah State University Extension Associate Professor, Salt Lake County

Resources: 

energy.gov   Cozy Up to Colder Weather: 5 Ways to Prepare Your Home for Fall and Winter (parts 1 and 2)

Style at Home How to Prepare Your Home for Winter.

https://extension.usu.edu/htm/news-multimedia/articleID=2129  Ask a specialist: Do you have tips for winterizing my home?  Richard Beard, Utah State University Extension Agricultural Engineering Specialist,  2006

Winter is on its way. Follow these steps to winterize your vehicle and ensure that you are ready for whatever this winter may bring. 

With winter approaching, thoughts turn to safe driving. Now is a great time to winterize your car and add to your car emergency kit.  You never know when you might be stopped on the freeway or stranded away from home.

Winterize Your Car:

• To be prepared for inclement weather, keep your car filled with gas. Never let your tank get below half full.
• Keep your car serviced. Check the oil, brake fluid, antifreeze and windshield washer fluid reservoirs to make sure they are full, and keep them at correct levels.
• Put your snow tires on, check tire pressure and tread depth on all tires including your spare tire. Make sure all tire changing equipment works on the tires on the vehicle. Carry a full-size spare tire if you can.  Also carry canned air and tire sealant to repair a tire.
• Test your heater to make sure it works. Inspect your battery and make sure it is charged and the terminals are clean. Inspect your windshield wipers and replace if worn.
• Check the condition of your jumper cables. A heavy duty set of jumper cables is recommended.

Winterize Your Car Emergency Kit:

If you already have water, food, a first aid kit, a fire starter kit, a flashlight, blankets and toilet paper in your basic car emergency kit, add some additional items:

1. Cell phone charger – A phone can save your life in inclement weather, but batteries don’t hold a charge as long in cold weather. Consider carrying an external portable charger with you.
2. The Winter Survival Kit app – This tool will help you find your current location, call 911, notify your friends and family and calculate how long you can run your engine to keep warm and stay safe from carbon monoxide poisoning. It’s available free for both Android and iOS systems from the North Dakota State University Extension Service. Go to: Winter Survival Kit at https://www.ag.ndsu.edu/extension/apps/winter-survival-kit.
3. Windshield scraper and small broom – Having tools to keep heavy snow off windshields, the roof of your vehicle and away from exhaust pipes is important in snowy/icy weather.
4. Water – To keep water from freezing or getting too hot and leaking in your vehicle, wrap with a space blanket (or other blankets) or store in an insulated cooler bag.
5. Survival medications – Carry an emergency supply of necessary medications in case you are stranded away from home for more than one day.
6. Extra jackets, gloves, hats and boots – Make sure everyone has enough clothing if you had to walk outside for at least an hour in cold weather. Add hand warmers and include heavy gloves.
7. Hand sanitizer/wet wipes/extra diapers/sanitary supplies/plastic bags – Carry a large empty can with a plastic cover, tissues and paper towels for sanitary purposes. These items can be important if you are traveling with small children or if you have other personal sanitary needs to address during an emergency.
8. Tool kit- Make sure to carry basic tools that can be used on your vehicle, including a multi tool with knife and duct tape.
9. Safety Tools: Tow Straps – These straps should be used with caution to avoid harming the frame of your vehicle but can be very helpful in pulling the vehicle out if you are stuck. Shovel – A compact shovel with a telescoping handle is a must in snowy weather. Make sure it is sturdy enough to handle hard-packed snow. Sand/cat litter – Carry this to help give you traction if you get stuck.  Emergency flares and distress flags, warning triangles/whistle – These can alert others to your situation and also allow emergency personnel to find you.
10. Tire Chains –If you don’t have a 4-wheel drive vehicle and are traveling in mountainous areas, they may be required.
11. Fire extinguisher – Make sure the extinguisher is designated for use with a vehicle, and understand how to use it.
12. Compass and map of the area- This is the old-fashioned form of GPS and can be helpful when cell service is not available. In stormy weather, the compass is a must because you can easily lose your bearings and be confused about directions.
13. Collapsible fuel container for gas – This is a great item to have if you run out of gas and have to carry it to your vehicle. Gas stations may not have extra fuel containers.
14. Entertainment – Pack a deck of cards, a paperback book, dice, paper, markers, pencils, coloring books and other games to keep everyone entertained.
15. Cash – Keep enough cash in small bills (ones, fives, tens and change) to fill your car with gas or possibly cover a night’s stay in a motel or cover minor repairs. Store in a secure place in the vehicle.
16. Emergency information – Keep an envelope in your glove compartment with family contact information, towing service, AAA Road Assistance, police or emergency services and your insurance company. Always let someone know where you are going if you travel.

Good luck in getting your vehicle ready for the season ahead!

This article was written by Marilyn Albertson, Utah State University Extension Associate Professor, Salt Lake County

Resources: 

ASK A SPECIALIST: DO YOU HAVE TIPS FOR PREPARING AN EMERGENCY CAR KIT? Answer by: Carolyn Washburn, Utah State University Extension family consumer science agent, Washington County.   http://extension.usu.edu/htm/news-multimedia/articleID=6233/print=true, Posted by Dennis Hinkamp on Nov 12, 2012

Winter Storm Survival Kit for Cars,   https://web.extension.illinois.edu/disaster/winter/ws_surv.cfm

Winter Survival Kit, North Dakota State University Extension at https://www.ag.ndsu.edu/extension/apps/winter-survival-kit