Whatever your Valentine’s Day dinner plans may be, try a few slices of his and her needs pizza. Watch the video for some common needs of men and women, then take some time to discuss needs with your spouse or partner.

The Highlights

We all have needs. By understanding and appreciating each other’s needs, couples can grow closer together and protect their relationship from outside negative influences.

Show how much you value and care about your partner and set a positive tone in your relationship by being a better listener. Watch this video from USU Extension expert Naomi Brower for tips to becoming a better listener

Highlights:

1. Check your body language to show that you’re listening.
2. Focus on what the other person is saying. Don’t interrupt!
3. Repeat back in your own words what has been shared in order to make sure you understand the full message.
4. Share your point of view using “I” messages such as, “This is what I think and feel.”

You don’t have to go out on the town to have a fun date! Whether you are looking for something to do after the kids are in bed, or for budget-friendly date ideas, we’ve got some tips for you.

Couples Night In

Finding time alone as a couple is an important aspect of maintaining a strong and healthy relationship.

Couples with children often struggle to have the time or energy to reconnect as often as they would like.

While it can be a challenge to find the time and resources to go “out” on a date, there are many fun activities couples can do at home to reconnect, especially after the kids are asleep. In order to make at-home dates successful, follow these three tips:

1. Keep it simple. Going on a date with your sweetheart is about connecting with each other. Activities do not need to be elaborate or require a lot of time or energy. Even 20 minutes of uninterrupted quality time can boost a relationship.

2. Make a plan. Because you are staying at home, it will be easier to just fall into the normal routine rather than to have a date night, so plan what you will be doing and when. This will also help you to know what you might need to do or buy to be ready for your date. Be sure to take turns choosing the activity (complaints on either side can spoil the fun).

3. Focus on each other. Once again, because you are at home, it is often easy to get distracted by housework, electronics, etc. Commit to focus only on your spouse and the activity you are doing together for the timeframe you have planned.

Where possible, make an effort to connect through conversation throughout your date, especially about personal thoughts and feelings (not just about the kids).

15 Ideas for at-home date nights:

1. Star gaze. Set up a blanket in the backyard and enjoy looking at the stars. For bonus points, get a star map and try to identify constellations.
2. Walk in your partner’s shoes for an evening. Swap your normal “duties” for the night to try to understand life from your partner’s perspective. After the kids go to bed, discuss your experience.
3. Look through old photo albums and reminisce together. If you feel really energetic, make it a time to put loose photos into albums or delete out-of-focus and duplicate digital files.
4. Have a fondue party. Dip your favorite veggies, fruits or snack foods in cheese or chocolate. Yum!
5. Curl up for an evening of reading. Find a book you both enjoy and take turns reading to each other.
6. Go dancing. Check out a dance instruction video or find one online and turn your living room into a ballroom.
7. Camp in your own backyard. Set up a tent, snuggle and tell ghost stories. If you have a fire pit, light a fire and roast marshmallows and make s‘mores. If not, improvise using a gas stove, barbeque or microwave.
8. Go gourmet. Sample a few types of cheese you haven’t tried before with crackers, bread or fruit and critique each one.
9. Cozy up on a blanket in front of a fireplace and have a picnic or treat. No fireplace? You can improvise with a bunch of candles grouped together.
10. Watch a classic romantic movie or funny videos on YouTube. Make a fluffy bed out of pillows and cushions on the floor for a fun change.
11. Play board games or card games. For a fun twist, decide on a service or treat that the winner will receive.
12. Get sweet. Have an ice cream sundae bar, experiment with creating your own smoothie recipes or have a chocolate tasting night.
13. Have an at-home spa night. Light some candles and give each other a massage, take a bubble bath or if you are feeling adventurous, treat each other to a pedicure or facial.
14. Create a dream board of pictures or a list of places you want to visit or fun things you would like to do together in the future. Make a plan to make one of them happen.
15. Get active. Try a new exercise video together or take a stroll around the outside of the house to get some fresh air.

This article was written by Naomi Brower, Extension Associate Professor

Before you send an email or friend request to boy or girlfriends past, consider these 5 tips to guard your heart and your current relationship.

It’s the time of year that people often think about love and relationships. You may even be considering contacting an old sweetheart— perhaps seeking closure or feeling nostalgic or curious about what your ex is doing now. Deciding whether or not to contact an ex can be challenging and there can be pros and cons. The standard advice is, “Just don’t do it,” but depending on the situation it could potentially bring relief and closure. If you or someone you know is contemplating contacting an ex, consider these tips first.

1. Ask yourself the tough questions such as: Why am I doing this? What am I hoping to achieve? How will I feel after communicating with this person? Will I be able to accept the outcome even if it doesn’t go the way I hope it will?
2. Consider your current mental, emotional and physical state. If you are currently feeling angry, tired, lonely or discouraged about your current life situations delay making contact.
3. If you are currently in a relationship, be sure to discuss the situation with your current partner and establish clear boundaries about contact with the opposite sex (and especially exes) that you are both comfortable with. If you do choose to contact your ex, be open and transparent with your partner about any communication that you have with the ex, including text messages or social media messages.
4. Even with clear boundaries set, it is important to keep in mind that familiarity can potentially lead to high levels of emotion and it can be hard to not misinterpret the feelings to mean that what you used to have is better than what you have now. Additionally, individuals are also often more open about sharing intimate feelings over social media or text messages which can lead to feeling intense emotions. With that in mind, guard your heart, be careful about what you share, and remember there is a reason he or she is an ex.
5. If you do decide to contact your ex, be up front about why you are contacting them, be brief, and don’t try to continue to contact them if they don’t respond. Remember, they may not have the same desire to reconnect or may be respecting the boundaries of their current relationship.
   

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   This article was written by Naomi Brower, USU Extension associate professor, Weber County

Find out how helping others can help your family!

Service with a Smile

Volunteering as a family can be fun, but it can also be challenging.

Telling the kids that you are going to go work somewhere as a family may not be received with a “Yippee!” However, knowing the benefits may make the scheduling and needed “family pep talk” worth it.

Families that took a volunteering survey reported the benefits of volunteering as a family.

Benefits reported by parents:
• It bonded them to their children and created a team atmosphere.
• The children got along better and recognized that they need each other.
• The children focused on someone other than themselves.

Benefits reported by children:
• They gained appreciation and respect for their parents for how much they care for the community.
• Siblings were seen as role models.
• It made them feel good.

Other benefits of volunteering as a family include:
• The experience of sharing experiences and values.
• Having fun as a family.
• Individuals and families can learn about new resources (education, social support, family services and financial assistance).
• Children gain real-world experiences and learn about careers
• Parent-child bonding can promote healthy development

In addition to the benefits of volunteering together, a study reported that there are also benefits to the individual family members.

Infants
Depending on what the family is volunteering for, opportunities where the baby can tag along can benefit their psychosocial needs. Parents are able to give consistent care and continue building trust.

Toddlers
Who said these little ones couldn’t volunteer? Toddlers can develop sensorimotor skills and language through the different experiences and environments of volunteering.

4-7 Year-olds
Volunteering provides opportunities to look at different choices and develop decision- making skills. Children can help decide where the family will volunteer and/or how to do the project. They can begin learning about responsibility and cause and effect.

8-12 Year-olds
Volunteering as a family provides school-aged children a safe environment for making mistakes, practicing skills and eventually succeeding at different tasks and settings. Children experience encouragement from parents and older siblings. Having flexibility in volunteer activities can be motivating.

Adolescents
It is not a secret that adolescents are working on figuring out their identity, values, beliefs and how to accomplish tasks. Volunteering as a family provides teens with parental examples of values and civic responsibility. They are also exposed to different experiences, learn new skills and gain new perspectives.

Young Adults
Family volunteering for young adults helps to maintain and strengthen family networks. Relationships may even be mended through the experience. Volunteering together helps meet the need to have healthy relationships in their lives through opportunities as simple as talking, learning something new and bonding.

Adults
Volunteering with children provides adults with the opportunity to share their culture, beliefs and values. Volunteering for adults promotes a sense of caring, compassion and empathy. They feed their need to give back by sharing experiences, knowledge and other resources.

Elderly Adults
Volunteering brings meaning and purpose to the life of elderly adults. Volunteering with family helps their mental well-being.

References:
1Littlepage, L., Obergfell, E., & Zanin, G. (2003). Family Volunteering: An exploratory study of the impact on families. Center for Urban Policy and the Environment. Retrieved from: http://policyinstitute.iu.edu/Uploads/ProjectFiles/31_03-C05_Family_Volunteering.pdf

2Lewton, A. R., Nievar, M. A. (2012). Strengthening Families Through Volunteerism: Integrating family volunteerism and family life education. Marriage & Family Review, 48, 7, 689-710. DOI: 10.1080/01494929.2012.700909

This article was written by Zuri Garcia, Extension Assistant Professor, Davis County Extension

Winter can be a difficult time for many people. The days are dark and cold, and it is easy to let that affect your mood. Try some of these positivity power-ups to lift your spirits as you push through to spring.

Positivity can provide a powerful boost to physical and mental health, productivity, relationships with others, and can even lead to an increase in lifespan. On the other hand, negativity can be harmful to physical and mental health, damage careers, and destroy relationships.

Consider focusing on these steps to increase the positivity in your life:

• Keep it positive. Keep conversations positive and steer clear of comments that are negative or degrading toward others or yourself. If you catch yourself saying something negative, make an effort to change it to a more positive comment instead.

• Tip the scales to the positive. Research has found that happy relationships have about five positive interactions to every one negative. While it’s ok to express concerns or frustrations, be sure to also express sincere words of appreciation or other positive words to keep the relationship in the positive.

• Focus on what is right. While is isn’t possible to change how others act or have control over some situations, drawing attention to the things that are going right can help to set a more positive tone for interactions and increase positive emotions.

• Make it personal. Genuinely caring for others sets positivity in motion that is often reciprocated. Examples of this might include listening to others with unconditional positive regard and providing support and encouragement.

• Share the positivity. Making an effort to have positive thoughts and interactions sets off a chain of positivity that often amplifies positive emotions and can have a powerful positive impact on others. Examples of this might include doing something nice for someone, giving a compliment, or just writing down all the things that went well today.

Being positive can have a powerful impact on the world. Sharing an uplifting word or giving a small act of kindness can create a ripple effect of positivity. What will you do today to increase the positivity in your life?

This article was written by Naomi Brower, USU Extension associate professor, Weber County

Reference:
How Full is Your Bucket: Positive Strategies for Work and Life by Tom Rath & Donald Clifton.

You don’t have to wait for February 14 to roll around to think about how to strengthen your relationship. Check out these six tips for rekindling the spark in your relationship. 

1. Find and make time to spend one-on-one with your partner.

Put distractions (i.e. cell phones) aside and enjoy the time and conversation with each other. Go on favorite dates and mix in new activities to explore new interests.

2. Share acts of love and kindness.

Valentine’s Day is coming up, but find ways all year long to share acts of love and kindness. Leave notes under pillows or in lunch boxes. Drop by each other’s work with a treat. Come home with a fun surprise or take your partner on a quick surprise outing for a drink or ice cream.

3. Think before you speak.

When it comes to arguments and differences of opinions, take a step back and reflect on how important the point of argument is. Is it really worth putting your foot down? Is there room for compromise?

4. Be a good listener.

When discussing matters, be a good listener. Don’t interrupt— wait for your turn to speak. When speaking, repeat what you heard to summarize what you understand that you heard. Then use “I” statements by saying “I feel [what feeling?] when [this happens] because [why you feel that way]. Even better when you can follow up with a request. For example, “I feel frustrated when you leave for the gym before you help clean the kitchen, because I am left to do all the work on my own and it takes the rest of my evening. Next time can you please help me quickly right after we are done eating?”

5. Make each other smile.

Capitalize on inside jokes to make special moments of connection. Replay the inside jokes occasionally during conversations, or in texts or emails. This should be sure to make you both smile.

6. Keep traditions alive— or create new ones.

Remember anniversaries and special dates with a date, a gift, or a note. Consider re-creating favorite activities yearly, such as an evening out to a Jazz game or a concert.

Find Out More

Looking for more ways to strengthen your relationship? Plan a date night and attend the Marriage Celebration on February 3 at Weber State University, or the Date Your Mate Celebration on February 10 at the Viridian Event Center in West Jordan.

This article was written by Melanie Jewkes, Utah State University Extension associate professor, Salt Lake County

Have you used a food, grocery or coupon app? We’ve got the lowdown on of some of the top apps in these categories to help you decide whether or not they are worth a download.

Grocery and Coupons

Favado – This app is pretty awesome. You start off by entering your zip code or allowing location access so that the app can search for stores near you. From there, you pick stores of your choice. You can either view the ads for those stores, or better yet, compare the prices for the stores you picked. For instance: I chose Smith’s, Winco, and Costco. I could compare their ads in their entirety, or search for a specific item like broccoli. Smith’s broccoli was $0.79 per pound, while WinCo broccoli was $0.98. By doing this with all my grocery list items I could see where to get the most bang for my buck. You can also add the items you searched for or saw in coupons to a list by store.

Walmart– This app has a great feature: Savings Catcher. You can scan your Walmart receipt and the app will search prices of competitors in the area for advertised deals on the items you purchased. If a lower advertised price is found, Walmart give you the difference on an eGift card. This app also lists the weekly ad and current prices in store. You can order non-grocery items from this app and pick them up at the store, and refill prescriptions from this app. To order groceries, use the Walmart Grocery app, where you are able to select non-perishable foods to be delivered to your front door or complete all of your shopping and have it hand delivered to your car in the parking lot.

*Note: other stores also have their own apps to help with grocery shopping lists, couponing, etc. Smith’s grocery store app allows you to add coupons directly to your Fresh Values card, which eliminates the hassle of cutting and turning in paper coupons. Target’s Cartwheel app allows you to scan items in the store to see if there is a coupon or sale in addition to weekly ad prices. Check to see if the stores at which you typically shop have apps, and then see what they have to offer.

Grocery IQ or Grocery Pal – The best feature on these apps is that you can scan a barcode or use a voice search to find coupons. When you scan a barcode or search for an item, coupons from stores around you will pop up, then you can add the coupons and items you want to your list. This could be handy if you are in a store and want to quickly check prices elsewhere.  You can also view the weekly ads for stores in your area.

Nutrition Tracking

MyNetDiary –  This easy-to-use app is a classic nutrition tracker. You enter your personal information and select if you want to gain, lose or maintain weight. The app then tells you how many calories you should eat each day to achieve your goal. It tracks the amount of the fat, carbs and protein in the foods you enter, and calculates your allowed amount remaining in each category for the day. Perhaps the best part is that you can enter in your own recipes. With many other nutrition trackers, there are preset meals to choose from. With this app, you can select the ingredients that actually made up your lunch for the day, and it will calculate the nutritional information. You can also log exercise, water intake and add personal notes in the app. Using an activity monitor like a Fitbit, you can also track your steps and how many calories burned in the app.

Nutrition Education

Eat and Move -0- Matic – This is a great nutrition education app for families and children, produced by the National 4-H Council. Its designed to be like a game and is geared toward children. Your children may not find it the most exciting game to play on their own, but it is a good educational app for you to go through with your children. The app teaches how food and exercise work together. For example, it would take 27 minutes of jumping rope to burn the calories contained in an 8 ounce glass of chocolate milk.  It has dozens of food and exercise selections to choose from and lists the calories for each food. This is great for helping parents understand how much physical activity their children should be doing for the food they are eating, and it can teach children that they need to exercise to stay healthy and balance what they eat with physical activity.

Recipes and Cooking

Cooking Matters – This app’s focus is healthy, affordable and delicious meals. While it doesn’t have as many recipes as Pinterest, the recipes this app does have are healthy, simple and look very appealing. Many of the recipes use few ingredients. It also lists the serving size of each recipe and has a nice conversion feature to tell you how many ounces are in a pound or how many teaspoons are in a tablespoon, etc.

Do you use any of these apps? Are there any you love that we’ve missed? Let us know in the comments!

This article was written by Sarah Hepworth Warner, Food Sense nutrition program intern, Utah County, and Melanie Jewkes, Utah State University Extension associate professor, Salt Lake County

Are extended warranties worth the extra cost? Watch this video from Family Finance Pro Amanda Christensen to find out.

Here are some tips to keep in mind:

• As yourself: Does the item come with a manufacturer’s warranty? How long does it last and what does it cover?
• Read the fine print.
• Keep the receipt or proof of purchase.
• Do the follow up, or the warranty is for naught.

Be sure to watch the video for the details on each tip.

Amanda Christensen is an Extension Assistant Professor for Utah State University. Follow her on Twitter: @FamFinPro, Facebook: Fam Fin Pro, Instagram: @FamFinPro.

What’s the deal with  layaway programs? Learn how to assess if layaway is a good option for you and how to set up your own layaway savings plan from USU Extension finance pro Amanda Christensen.

Layaway Highlights:

1. Read the fine print
2. Look at the cancelation policy
3. Will the payments fit into your budget?
4. Is there a sale price credit?
5. Will you be tempted to overspend?

Set Up Your Own Layaway Savings Plan:

1. Set a goal and stick to it
2. Make a plan
3.  Set up an automatic transfer
4. Watch sale prices
5. Stick to your list

Be sure to watch the video for the details on each tip.

Amanda Christensen is an Extension Assistant Professor for Utah State University. Follow her on Twitter: @FamFinPro, Facebook: Fam Fin Pro, Instagram: @FamFinPro.